• D’ Ambassador •

The Hannah Montana:The Movie OFFICIAL TRAILER

COMING SOON THIS MAY!

Many have changed so much that they have lost the magic of the dream that carried them on their own bootstraps.

-Peter Abrahams-

Imagine a thousand more such daily intrusions in your life, every hour and minute of every day, and you can grasp the source of this paranoia, this anger that could consume me at any moment if I lost control.

-Jack Henry Abbott-

Admitting the force of these contentions, nevertheless, the custom of meeting together in public assembly for the consideration of the most serious, the most exalted topics of human interest is too vitally precious to be lost.

-Felix Adler-

Paris Hilton Joke #1: The Banana Company

Q. Why were Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie fired from their “Simple Life” job at a banana company?

A. They threw out all of the bent ones.

Paris Hilton Joke #2: Paris walked into a library…

Paris walked into a library because she wanted to experience something new. She walks up to the counter and says “Can I have a burger and fries?” The librarian says, “I’m sorry, this is a library.” So Paris whispers, “Can I have a burger and fries?”

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are driving down the highway in a convertible. Lindsay knows that she’s speeding so she asks Paris if there’s a cop behind them. The Paris looks behind her and sees a cop and says “Oh shit. There is a cop behind us.” Lindsay says “That sucks. Are his lights on?” Paris says “Yes…No…Yes…No…Yes…No”

Paris Hilton Joke #3: Keys Locked in the Car

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. “Hurry!” Paris said. “It’s starting to rain. And the top is down!”
Paris Hilton Joke #4: The Magic Mirror

Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan find a magic mirror. the mirror tells them that if they say something good that they think about themselves, they get their hearts desire. however, if it’s a lie, they get sucked into the mirror for ever. Britney steps up and says “I think I’m the smartest girl in the world” and she gets sucked in. Lindsay says “I think I’m the prettiest girl in the world” and she gets sucked in. Paris says “I think…” and gets sucked in.

Paris Hilton Joke #5: The Flight

A recorded customer service call at Private Jet Services Inc., of a brief conversation with Paris Hilton was making the rounds internally until management deleted it. According to internal sources, Paris called the PJS service center and said “This is Paris Hilton. Can you tell me how long it will take to fly from Los Angeles to Las Vegas?” The agent replied, “Just a minute Miss Hilton.” To which Paris replied “Wow that’s great! Thank you.” and hung up.

Sure, there are some pretty stupid criminals out there. Yet this excerpt from a Washington Post article proves that not all criminals are dumb – in fact, some are so clever that the Post labeled this article, “The Best Comeback Line Ever”

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t,” he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, Picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. “I guess I was just really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. “It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,” said Officer Taylor. “I walked up to (Lawrence) and he’s… just working away at this pumpkin.”

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. “I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?’ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin? Darn…is it midnight already?”